Like many of us, I’ve been unable to think (much less write) about the events of this past week in a way that feels coherent. I’ve decided that I’m still too close to it, that I’m still processing it. Maybe I’ll get to a place where I can talk about it.
Instead, this week, I want to talk about the other side of this coin: that there is a first to celebrate. That first is a triumph for women, for African Americans, and for Asian Americans. Instead of talking about further unrest and chaos, I want to share a moment from November where I was moved.
During the November 2020 election season, I was hopeful, but I also feared getting burned by that hope again. The chaos of the last 4 years have contributed to a low-level anxiety that I’ve been carrying around with me. I don’t think I’m alone in this.
I was driving home from Costco on Saturday, Nov. 7 when the election was called for Biden and Harris. Fishy was in the back seat singing to himself while I listened to NPR. They interrupted the game show I was listening to with a hard cut to a commentary on the election. My heart dropped as I heard they would announce the final results of the election, and then rose quickly as the announcer revealed that Biden had won. I cried in relief. I tried to explain to Fishy what was going on, what we were hearing on the radio. Turns out he had fallen asleep and didn’t hear any of it.
The rest of our day didn’t change much. I still unpacked the Costco goods when I came home. I still fed Fishy lunch and put him down for a nap. Max and I talked a little about the results, but they still felt tenuous. We knew there would be lawsuits. But we dared to hope a little bit more.
Later that afternoon, during Fishy’s 4-hour nap time (I know, it’s a long nap, and I’m aware of how lucky we are), Sweet Pea woke up for an early afternoon feeding. I sat on our couch nursing her and scrolled through Twitter a bit.
I don’t remember what I read. Social media that day was light and happy, I do remember that. But I also remember finally understanding in my heart what Harris’s win means for women. She will be the first woman, first African American, and Asian American to hold the office of the vice presidency.
I held my little girl, only 4 months old and barely able to roll over by herself. She will never know a world where Kamala Harris hasn’t held these positions. I looked down at this tiny human in my arms
and cried. Some of the pain of the last 5 or so years was released in that cry. I’m still releasing a lot more, slowly, as I think about where we can go from here.
Representation matters. It matters that Kamala holds this position in the same way that it mattered that Barak Obama was president. It doesn’t make it any easier for a woman to fight against the forces that want us to stay at home and be quiet. But it does give us a role model and a path to follow.