Yesterday I received a notification that my weekly average calorie burn had dropped.
At first I felt really disappointed in myself: I had actually done a formal workout every weekday, and that hadn't been enough?
But then I remembered that my smart watch had given me a rash, so I didn't wear it last week except when I did my workouts. The watch had incomplete data. What does that watch know about me? Nothing. Only what I let it know. No reason to freak out, Tamara.
Winter, and January in particular, are supposed to be times of rest. The days are short, everything is cold, and we'd all just rather be bundled up in our beds with a book and a warm mug of something yummy. At least I would rather that.
I would rather rest than think about the state of the world right now.
I would rather rest than watch the BREAKING NEWS.
I would rather rest than engage in the New Year New Me culture.
I would rather rest than feel the stress of always trying to be busy.
So, I have been resting. I have taken naps in the afternoon. I have moved my body when it feels good, and I have taken breaks when it felt like I needed one.
And yet? I've been really productive. And creative. Despite myself. I've read a couple of really good books already this year. I did a lot of cooking in the first few weeks of the year. So much cooking that my husband asked if he should be worried. I have made progress on creative works and copywriting projects. I have drawn up messaging for some marketing consulting products I hope to offer in the next few months. (stay tuned for that)
I keep telling myself that these are just "slow months," and that I don't need to feel busy. But I wonder if I can draw this feeling out. My creativity has flourished because I've given it space to breathe. And while that self-critical voice still pipes up at unfortunate times, it's not as loud.

Also taking name suggestions for this cactus friend that a friend gave me.
Recommended Reading
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Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
Funny, sweet, and concrete. It’s apparent from the very start of this book that Akbar is a poet. The metaphors and images he uses made me feel throughout this book in a way I haven’t in a long time. And it’s also now out in paperback!
The Wedding People by Alison Espach
I read this for the neighborhood book club, but also because several people close to me have called it out as a must-read. The main character is funny and easy to relate to, and we come to know all the characters as their nuanced, imperfect selves.
I received a call from the cactus's previous owner. She needs a bit of nutrition and more sunlight, but she's basically dormant right now. So those are jobs for when we get above 40 degrees here, consistently.
Yay for slowing down